We all bring sensitivities from the past into our relationships. Who we are with our partners is very much connected to what we’ve been through in our lives. Most of the time our needs in our relationships are connected to what we missed in our childhood in order to feel safe, secure, unconditionally loved, worthy and important. If we don’t know what our unmet needs are we often times just react to a hurtful situation without thinking, rather than turning inside, checking in and figuring out what the pain is really about. It’s the kind of situation that happens when we get angry because our partner forgot to take out the garbage, while deep inside we actually feel resentful because we’re left alone with all the household responsibilities. In order to stop these vicious thought patterns we get stuck in, it is important to know our own and our partners sensitivities.
Relationships can be very healing when we learn to attune to each other’s needs. When I know my partner’s needs and when my partner knows my needs, we can express our real feelings and learn how to soothe one another in times when emotions become overwhelming. In couples therapy, we investigate new ways of being together by exploring your sensibilities, needs and emotional language. Through this process, you can create a complete and satisfying relationship with your partner.